Logical solutions cannot always solve psychological problems.
When life is simpler, it’s easier to autopilot through it. Things aren’t that bad after all, right? So nothing needs to change, right?
But as you’ve likely found, when our pain and problems start to overwhelm our ability to keep the ship steady, our mind (and body) does exactly what it was built to do: our mind’s “over-protective, over-analytical, problem-solving” nature logically, sorry, instinctively starts telling us what’s coming, what’s wrong, and what to do.
While our mind can’t steer the ship, it doesn’t quite trust us to either… So it does its job the only way it can: through thoughts and feelings shaped by old lessons we’ve lived and internalized. It’s trying to help, even when it isn’t.. So we do whatever it takes to “feel better” (or at least “not bad”). It works until it doesn’t, then it begins to pull us away from what actually matters. No amount of self-care, positivity, validation, or screen time seems to help. Rather than living a life, we are stuck surviving.
Hello, I’m Stanly 👋🏼
I’m passionate about helping thoughtful, caring, hard-working people who are worn out by their own minds (people who likely were never taught why their mind does what it does or what they could do with it).
Like many others, I was taught that certain thoughts or feelings were “bad” and others were “good”, that our worth depends on achievement, and that struggling is something to hide and mask. While this may have helped me achieve or accomplish things on the surface, they also gradually distorted my sense of self and reality, developing into excessive mental habits of catastrophic worrying and self-criticism and doubt. I wasted years arguing with my mind about what was “true/good/enough/safe”. It turns out that appearance of happiness or success ≠ true inner peace and satisfaction.
The problem usually isn’t a lack of effort, and it isn’t that our mind is broken. Our mind learned to protect us in ways that once made sense, and it still believes they’re necessary, even when they only help in the short term. My goal isn’t to argue your mind out of that role: it’s to understand what it’s been protecting so it doesn’t have to work so hard keeping you safe. Over time, this makes room for us to take the lead again, more present in our lives, guided by what truly matters to us.
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I have more than a decade of clinical, managerial, and supervisory experience in a variety of adult mental health settings:
I began in community mental health, supporting people with serious mental illness, often made harder by substance use and limited access to resources and support. It was there I learned how serious mental illness profoundly weighs on families and friends, not just the person living with it.
I then worked in intensive outpatient and partial hospitalization programs, providing structured, intensive treatment for adults who needed more than weekly therapy, and regularly covered inpatient and outpatient substance use and detox units. That work taught me to see the humanity in people at their lowest points, and how much capacity for change remains even in the darkest moments.
Most recently, I spent several years as a therapist integrated into primary care, working alongside physicians to address mental health where people already go for care. Many patients never would have sought out therapy on their own, and seeing how much easy access helped them get support they might otherwise never have received reshaped how I think about mental health care.
In 2022, I launched this website and my online private practice, mid-COVID-19 pandemic. While I still believe nothing beats in-person work, the ability to work with people online has unlocked the ability to reach people all over California. This has been an extremely precious advantage, although it’s surreal to get so personally deep with people I will never physically meet!
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Doctor of Psychology (PsyD)
CalSouthern University, in progress (est. grad 2027)
Doctoral Project: Systematic review of mechanisms of change in cognitive restructuring and metacognitive interventions for repetitive negative thinkingLicensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
California Board of Behavioral Sciences, 2017Master of Social Work (MSW), Concentration in Mental Health
University of Southern California, 2014Bachelor of Science (BS) in Human Services
California State University, Fullerton, 2012
What people often bring
Caught up in your head
Worry and overthinking · a harsh inner critic, perfectionism, and shame · feeling down, stuck, or lost · frustration and irritability
Running on empty
Burnout in healthcare, caregiving, education, law, and other demanding work · toxic workplaces · sleep thrown off by stress and a busy mind
Coping that backfires
Substances, screens, games, procrastination, or anything else that brings quick relief but keeps you stuck
Life in transition
New parenthood, including postpartum anxiety and depression · stepping into adulthood · career changes and retirement · relationship strain · separation and divorce · grief and loss
Who I often work with
Men · Asian Americans and children of immigrants · LGBTQ+
Don’t see your situation here? Reach out anyway. The free 15-minute consultation call is a good way to find out whether we’re a fit!
How I work
Understand the pattern
We start by mapping what keeps you stuck: the thoughts, feelings, urges, and habits, and how they feed each other. We also look at context, because your history, relationships, and current pressures shape these patterns as much as anything inside you.
Change how you relate to your mind
When a thought points to something that genuinely needs to change, we look at it honestly. When the same thoughts loop no matter what you do, we focus less on what they say and more on what they’re trying to protect. That often means getting to know the parts of you that worry, criticize, or shut down, rather than fighting them.
Move toward what matters
Insight helps, but change happens in daily life. We’ll clarify what you care about and turn it into small, realistic steps you practice between sessions, adjusting as life gets in the way. Slips are part of the process, not proof it isn’t working.
No two people get stuck in quite the same way, so there’s no set script. A diagnosis can be part of the picture, but it rarely explains how your struggle actually works. I focus on what keeps it going, and how those pieces interact with each other and with the rest of your life. We’ll go at a pace that feels workable, and you’ll always have a say in where we focus. My approach draws mainly on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Internal Family Systems (IFS), with elements of CBT.
Fees & insurance
Who: Individual adults living in California
Where: Online video sessions
When: Weekdays, 9am–4pm (other times by arrangement)
Insurance
I’m in-network through Octave Behavioral Health with Aetna · Anthem Blue Cross of California · Blue Shield of California · Cigna/Evernorth · Health Net/MHN
Octave handles the insurance side, and after our free call I’ll set you up with them directly. What you pay per session depends on your plan’s copay, coinsurance, or deductible, so it’s worth checking your mental health benefits with your insurer.
Private pay
I keep a small number of private-pay spots at [$___] per session, priced close to what insurance pays, because cost shouldn’t decide who gets care. If you’re paying privately, you have the right to a Good Faith Estimate of your expected costs.